A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, ?Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?? The father, surprised, answers, ?Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman?s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.? ?Onions?? the son asks. ?Yes. You see them and they make you cry.? This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, ?Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?? The mother smiles and says, ?Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it?s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it?s like a Christmas tree.? ?A Christmas tree?? the daughter asks. ?Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.?
Next year after the Browns go 3-13 with Brian Hoyer and Johnny Drunk, Farmer blowing 2 1st rd draft picks in back to back years gets fired and Haslam blows this thing up again! Everyone knows Haslam wanted o buy the Titans 1st. His brother is Gov. of Tenn. My other prediction is that Haslam will trade #12 & #19 to Tenn. for Mariota. He will help them out as much as possible. Don't they have Dick Jouron as DC & Ken Wisenhunt as OC don't you guy's wish Haslam wasn't such a douche and could attract talented coaches like that! With the help of Haslam trading them 2 1st rd picks the Titans go from 2nd worse to almost 1st and playoff bound. Little birdy told me
Good article over on Waiting for Next Year: http://www.waitingfornextyear.com/2015/02/cleveland-browns-nfl-draft-ray-farmer/
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
The Buffalo Theory The "Buffolo Theory" of Beer.. A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so GOOD for you! *DRINK*
Speech Impediment Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?" "Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away." "Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?" "It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy. "What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired the first fellow. "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!" "Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
DetroitLions.com openly wonders if the team can "trust" free agent DT Nick Fairley. The No. 13 overall pick of the 2011 draft, Fairley's four years in Detroit have been marred by weight woes, injuries and off-the-field issues. In between was some decent football, but nothing resembling consistency. Fairley insists his weight problems are behind him after he hired a personal chef, but he obviously hasn't earned the benefit of the doubt. The Detroit Free Press considers Fairley a "long shot" to return to Detroit.
The #3 story on yahoo is Jordan Cameron saying he has no interest in returning to Cleveland. Call the Browns Moses! Because it's a full blown EXODUS from Cleveland! Do any of you still think they are here to win or make money? Just think the douche bag owner is raising ticket sales next year after this disgusting off season! What a douche! Please Goddell let Haslam move this team to L.A. So we can demolish that piece of crap stadium and start over! WHY US OH LORD, WHY US!
I gotta say it..... this exodus is troubling. We kick Tate to the curb, Sit on Gilbert (who clearly didn't react the way they had hoped), then they apply the same approach to West (mixed resluts), our OC leaves and trashes the FO on the way out, Hoyer wants out, Jordan wants out, ......... Something is rotten. What a mess! Yay us. I can accept that we did a lot of things wrong last year, starting with the draft, and going thru the season without figuring out how to motivate guys who can't do it for themselves, so we discipline them, our GM tsxts play calls to the sidelines, someone decides the Manziel experiment has to be exposed even though the playoffs remain a possibility, we start an unprepared Gordon, who immediately underminse the integrity of the recieving corps, and then blame him for it, and suspend him. Jesus! I sincerely hope they step back and see claerly the level of ineptitude they achieved, and vow to not repeat it. Slam this team may be your toy, but it is a lot more to the Cleveland faithful, and they deserve for you and your mgt team, to learn and commit to at least not repeat "those" mistakes again in the season ahead. If you expect the team to "play like a Brown" I submit to you that if the mgt team was the example, they they "outplayed" the mgt team, who consistently let them down.
What I want to know is this...If the Browns were going to let Shanahan walk, why in the hell didn't they make him sign a non-disclosure agreement, or a gag order if you will? You just let a disgruntled employee walk out the door and talk smack while the door hits him in the ass? I am worried about this management team...not because they are making mistakes, they are all new it is expected they will make mistakes. The issue I have is that there isn't anyone experienced to tell them when they are making a mistake...They need a "Bill Parcells" type faculty in there to just help them wade through the waters during their learning period.
[h]TGIF Lounge Houndz[/h] *YAHOO* I too am worried about how poorly this FO is handling their mistakes. Some how some way they need to develop a process to keep these kinds of things internal to the organization and handle them internally. *HELP* @= *HELP* Here's an article that pretty much says it all... http://www.dawgsbynature.com/2015/2/5/7984423/cleveland-browns-offseason-2015-an-open-letter-to-fans Chins up fellow lounge houndz. We Browns fans are a resilient lot and we will manage to get through this. *DRINK*
Irish, you make a very good point three. Haslam hasn't found / looked for / been able to get an audience with one of those guys. Is it because he doesn't want someone who might be able to legitimately challenge him on decisions, or just that no powerful "football guy" would even consider working with the Browns until haslam shows some evidence of having a vision for the organization where the people he hires have the support and authority to do their jobs? Consider this: what if Farmer is suspended? Is he allowed to participate in the draft? Does he get cut loose so they can have someone to handle the GM responsivilities, and whether he is or isn't allowed to participate, will anything he has to say be taken seriously. Then how do we talk with other teams about players? Maybe even worse, there will be no one to even argue with Haslam over things he may want to do. That sure sounds like a recipe for disaster. Back to your post: how does it happen that Shanahan dumps on the FO? How bad was that relationship? How indicative is it of this organization's ability to form and foster communication and loyalty. Coaches and players running away at an alarming rate, indicate a problem that once again exists well above field level. Sigh................. I want consistency, but all indications are we are in for another "storied year" of bumbling, which is likely to lead to another "blow it up" next season. Man is it hard to find something positive to hang your hat on with the Browns going into the 2015 season. God give me strength, cause I know I will be there no matter what, and the scar tissue is getting pretty thick.
Do Browns need more plays from linebackers? Fred Greetham OBR Senior Reporter The Browns have hard decisions ahead of them as the off-season commences. Gaining consistency and improving the pass rush coming from the OLB's is a task for the Browns personnel department. (The OBR will do a position-by-position review of each of the Browns positions as the team heads toward the 2015 season. The seventh part we?ll look at the linebackers.) The Browns linebacker corps made some strides in 2014, but still needs better play al around. Karlos Dansby proved to be a big addition in free agency as he was missed in the games he was injured. Craig Robertson rebounded well after a less than average 2013 season. Chris Kirksey proved to be a solid draft choice and should only get better and play even a bigger role in his second year. Paul Kruger rushed the passer like he was expected to when signed to a big free agent contract in 2013.. Meanwhile, Barkevious Mingo and Jabaal Sheard had less than spectacular seasons and were disappointing, in terms of rushing the passer. The coaching staff defended Mingo citing his injury and not being asked to rush the quarterback, but you don?t draft a pass rusher sixth overall, to not rush the quarterback. Here?s a capsule summary of each linebacker that was with the team at the end of the season in 2014. Karlos Dansby?Dansby finished second on the team with 93 tackles, three sacks, two passes broken up and an interception, despite missing four games due to a knee injury suffered against the Texans. Paul Kruger?Kruger led the team with 11sacks, the most since a Browns player since Kamerion Wimbley had 11 in 2006. Kurger is only the eighth played in Browns history to reach double-digit sacks in a season. Nine of his sacks came in the final 10 games. He also had 53 tackles, four passes broken up, four fumbles force and one recovered. Barkevious Mingo?Mingo played in 15 games with 11 starts and finished with 39 tackles, two sacks, four passes broken up and a fumble recovery. Mingo injured his shoulder in the preseason and played the whole season with a harness that didn?t allow him full movement in his arm. Craig Robertson?Robertson had a bounce back season with 92 tackles in 16 games with 11 starts. He finished third on the team in tackles and had four passes broken up, two interceptions and a fumble recovery for a touchdown against the Colts on Dec. 7. Chris Kirksey?Kirksey played in all 16 games, starting eight at the weak inside position. The rookie from Iowa finished fourth on the team with 75 tackles, two sacks, three passes broken up and a forced fumble. Kirksey was voted the top rookie during training camp by the local media. Tank Carder?Carder finished third on the team in special team tackles. His biggest play of the season was when he blocked a punt that went out of the end zone for a safety against the Titans in the Browns big comeback win on Oct. 5. Jabaal Sheard?Sheard finished with 44 tackles, the lowest of his four-year career with the Browns. He also had just two sacks, lowest in his career after leading the Browns in sacks in his first three seasons when he had 21 sacks in his first three seasons. He also had three passes broken up. Sheard ranks ninth on the all-time sack list for the Browns with 23, but he is an unrestricted free agent and the Browns have to decide if they plan to retain him. Scott Solomon?Solomon played in the last two games after being promoted from the practice squad and made his presence felt with seven tackles, a sack and a forced fumble. Earlier in the season, he played six games for Tampa Bay and had eight tackles and a sack with a forced fumble. Darius Eubanks?Eubanks spent the season on injured reserve after injuring his shoulder in the preseason. His primary role in the past was on special teams. Keith Pough?Pough spent most of the season on the practice squad, but was inactive for one game on the roster. Summary: The Browns have to decide if Sheard is worth retaining after a sub-par season in 2014. The Browns need Mingo and Sheard to rush the passer like Kruger did in 2014 or decide to look elsewhere, whether through free agency or the draft. Here is a list of some of the potential unrestricted free agent linebackers: Outside: Justin Houston (Chiefs), Jason Worilds (Steelers), Brian Orakpo (Redskins), John Abraham (Cardinals), Sam Acho (Cardinals), Sean Weatherspoon (Falcons), Kroy Biermann (Falcons), Pernell McPhee (Ravens), Lance Briggs (Bears), Brooks Reed (Texans), David Harris (Jets), James Harrison (Steelers), Casey Matthews (Eagles), Dwight Freeney (Chargers), Casey Matthews (Eagles) and Malcolm Smith (Seahawks) Inside: Rey Maualuga (Bengals), Rolando McClain (Cowboys) and Arthur Moats (Steelers) (Next Up: We?ll take a look at the defensive line) theOBR.com Recommended Stories
