Grandma's Invitation (Priceless) Dear Family, I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday. Dinner is at 2:00. NOT 2:15 NOT 2:05. Two 2:00 Arrive late and you get what's left over. Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup. Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives - date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce. Now, the house rules are slightly different. This year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with. House Rules: 1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal. 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills. 3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery. 4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it. 5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know. 6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space. 7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car. 8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me. 9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things. 10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you? 11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You don't need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult. 12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids 13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver. I really mean all of the above. Love You, Grandma.
Nice one. Oh well. I guess I can bandwagon since they have a better record. At least until Sunday......
If you had a Quinn jersey you would have 5 more up there instead of just one pesky Stooler jersey *SHADES*
Browns' ability to score points this season means the season's final Steelers Week may not end poorly, per usual Four games. 103 points. For the first time since 2007, the Cleveland Browns offense is competent. Don?t expect scoring records to fall, but considering what we?ve seen from 2008-13, just being ordinary is a welcomed reprieve. It took only four games for the Browns to score 103 points this season. It may not sound like much, but consider: The Browns didn?t reach or surpass 103 points until the eighth game in 2008, 11 games in 2009, seven games in 2010, eight games in 2011 and six games the last two seasons. The Browns have had a chance to win all four of their games this season not because of excellent play on both sides of the ball for four quarters ? we have yet to see that ? but because the offense is moving the football and finishing drives with touchdowns. We can wring our hands about the poor defensive effort, especially in the first half against the Titans last Sunday. There are concerns that need to be addressed. Dumb penalties. Over pursuit. Poor pass rush. It goes on and on. Also, the Browns got lucky this week, but they won?t be facing a Charlie Whitehurst-led offense in the final 12 games. What they will be able to do is continue to run the ball with Ben Tate, Terrance West and Isaiah Crowell. Tate looked like one of the better backs in the NFL against Tennessee. He was fluid, fast, powerful and seemed to make the right cuts. He clearly is the team?s No. 1 back barring any future injuries, which is a big concern with him. Meanwhile, the Browns moved the ball through the air with the combination of Miles Austin, Andrew Hawkins, Taylor Gabriel, Jim Dray and Jordan Cameron. What? Finally, imagine how this offense could control a game and score points if they play well for an entire four quarters? The rules are designed for the offense to score points and have been for years now. Meanwhile, as the rules changed for the offense?s benefit, the Browns offense continued to slog through games scoring mostly field goals or celebrating when surpassing 20 points. This year there are no ?Bronx cheers? because the team converts its first first down late in the second quarter. No, things are actually working on offense. Offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan is keeping things balanced. Last Sunday, the Browns had 37 pass plays and 36 run plays. Even when the team was down 25 points they did not shy away from their bread and butter: the run game. Yes, those aforementioned rule changes mostly benefit the passing game but the Browns are showing the tried and true method of running to set up the pass works just fine. The Browns are averaging 4.5 yards per carry and have five rushing touchdowns. A healthy and talent-rich offensive line is keying this effort, no doubt, but so is talent at the running back position. Gone are the days of watching Old Man Willis McGahee slog for one-yard carries. Finally, and most importantly, the Browns are getting solid play from their quarterback. Like it or not, the game is predicated on strong play from the quarterback position and Brian Hoyer is delivering. The Browns haven?t played a full four quarters of football yet have two wins in four tries. You can argue all four games could?ve went against the Browns, but in the end they are 2-2 and begin preparations for the 3-2 Steelers. The same Steelers team, mind you, that blew a game late to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, scored just 10 offensive points against the winless Jacksonville Jaguars last Sunday and almost blew a 27-3 halftime lead to these same Browns in the season opener. Welcome to Steeler Week, where for the first time in a long time the teams are equal, the Browns offense is scoring points and the game means something.
Why not wring our hands over a poor offensive effort. What's worse in that first 29 minutes... 28 points surrendered or 3 points gained? Maybe the constant three-and-outs and punts are killing the defense? Amazingly, once the offense gets going and puts together drives lasting more than 45 seconds, the defense also responds and keeps the opposing team from scoring a single point. Right. It's an offensive league. When our offense isn't pulling its weight, the defense suffers. Pettine said it himself... they didn't change a thing defensively in that Tennessee game. The offense just held its end of the bargain and the defense was able to get a rest and some water. We can have the "chicken and egg" debate all day, but the two are inextricably intertwined and until both are performing at top levels, the Browns cannot expect to consistently win games.
How is it bull crap....u think Im lying? Yes facts are facts....go bak and look at one thing I said for that game that wasnt a fact.....Tenn had 2 TO's negated by penalties, had a punt blocked in their end zone, numerous personal fouls called and an ejection and a coach that went for it on his side of the 50 up 6 pts w bout 3 mins in the game instead of punting and giving his defense a chance w a long field....oh and a awful QB leading them in the 2nd half.
Well, one problem in your aurgument... The Titans received the ball first (14:55) then punted the ball (12:02), that's 2 minutes 33 seconds.... Cleveland receives the punt (11:53) then punted the ball (8:49), that's 3 minutes 4 seconds, Titans receive the punt (8:37) only face ONE 3rd down on the drive, 7 plays, 58 yards, 3 minute 51 second drive... that doesn't sound like the offense "tired" out the defense to me, sounds (and looked like) the Browns defense getting punked!!! The Browns then held the ball from (4:38) and punted at (3:12), one minute 26 seconds (I'll admit, that's pathetic), Titans get the ball back at (3:00) and score another TD at (14:49 2nd Quarter) 7 Plays, 80 yards, 3 minute 19 seconds, and once again, the Titans only faced ONE third down.... At this point the D has given up 14 points and has been on the field 9 minutes and 43 seconds, only forcing THREE 3rd downs and giving up 14 points... anyway you look at it, that's not on the O, that's clearly a piss poor defensive effort! EDIT: So basically, if anyone wants to piss and moan about "The D getting tired" then maybe the D, should be pissed at themselves! They tired themselves out!
Not sure where you're getting those numbers... try a website like http://www.pro-football-reference.com/ that does the math / work for you. The Browns first half drives, excluding the touchdown before halftime: 5 plays, 12 yards, 3:16[/*] 3 plays, 9 yards, 1:46[/*] 12 plays, 66 yards, 4:36 - Field Goal[/*] 3 plays, 5 yards, 0:48[/*] 10:26 out of 30:00 is not a good statistic. Four drives and three points is not a good statistic. Four first downs in the first 30:00 is not a good statistic. I'm not sure what -- if any -- point you were making about the offense somehow not being the problem, but four first downs, three points and a 2:1 TOP is not something you want to see out of that unit.
If you bothered to follow along with my post, you would notice I was only showing the first two scores by the Titan or the first three Titans drives of the day, basically saying, the Defense effed up BIG TIME to begin the game (not saying the offense didn't) to use the old "The defense was tired from being on the field the whole time" argument, doesn't really work! The defense (as well as the offense) laid a big old egg to start the game! The defenses piss poor performance had ZERO to do with the offense, as you alluded!
Why exclude the last drive? 9 plays, 90 yards, 2:16 - Touchdown *SCRATCH* 10:26 becomes 14:52 out of 30 -- that's within 8 seconds of 50% TOP[/*] Four drives and three points becomes five drives and ten points[/*] Four first downs in the first half becomes seven first downs in the first half.[/*]
Not putting words in SAS mouth, but prbly because Tenn went prevent defense in that last drive...thats when I knew the game was over and the Browns won...the team didnt even have 100 yds total offense and now they go 90yds in 2 mins....looks like DC's havent learned prevent defense prevents u from winning
BEREA, Ohio ? Already shaky, the Browns' secondary is in shambles. Pro Bowl cornerback Joe Haden has an injured hip and spent Wednesday riding a stationary bike during practice. High-profile rookie corner Justin Gilbert was benched last week at Tennessee, isn't playing with confidence and has been hearing it from his teammates. Buster Skrine got beat for a 75-yard touchdown by the Titans. ADVERTISEMENT And then there's free agent rookie defensive backs K'Waun Williams and Robert Nelson, who may see the field extensively this week against Pittsburgh. "If they have to play, they have to play," Browns coach Mike Pettine said of the two youngsters. It's not a pretty picture. Haden's injury ? he got hurt on a punt in the second half of Sunday's historic comeback in Tennessee ? is the last thing the Browns (2-2) need as they try to patch up a disappointing defense. Cleveland is ranked 31st overall in the league and the Browns have been equally ineffective stopping the run and pass. Haden hasn't played up to his standards and even if he does suit up this week, it's unlikely he'll be 100 percent. That's never a good thing against Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who has a knack for finding a weakness, exposing it and doing serious damage. He's 18-1 in his career against the Browns. Pettine said Wednesday he's "cautiously optimistic" Haden will play, and the Browns can't afford to be without their top cornerback, who will be matched up with Antonio Brown, the Steelers' leading receiver. Pettine was predictably vague when discussing Haden's injury and status. "We're not quite sure," Pettine said. "There's some soreness in it. He went through the walkthrough this morning. We'll be very cautious with it. You get to the point with certain guys where you feel good about their practice habits and where they are. You get them into Sunday mode. We'll keep a very close eye on that." Gilbert's issues have been more mental than physical. The No. 8 overall pick in this year's draft, Gilbert has failed to live up to expectations. The former Oklahoma State standout has struggled from the start, and his problems reached a crescendo last week when he was on the field for just nine snaps in the Browns' 29-28 win over the Titans. Mindful that Gilbert could be in a fragile state, Pettine has remained publicly upbeat that Gilbert is experiencing growing pains and will only improve. "Justin's been inconsistent. That's the problem," Pettine said. "He's had his issues and he knows he's been picked on when he's in there, and there's a lot of things that we need to get right with Justin, but we're confident that we're going to do it. Nobody's bailing on him, and if he's getting some tough love in the DB room, so be it." Gilbert was not available for interviews. He made a brief appearance in the locker room, but told reporters he had to lift weights and disappeared. Williams embraced a day in the spotlight as the slight rookie from Pittsburgh was engulfed by a media throng in front of his locker. In Sunday's win, Williams had several big tackles and he sacked Titans backup quarterback Charlie Whitehurst on the game's final drive. "I thought I did all right," Williams said. "There were some mistakes, but overall, I had a good game." Pettine feels Cleveland's defensive problems are correctable, and can be attributed to a new scheme and season only one-quarter complete. The secondary may currently be brittle and green, but Pettine remains confident the unit will get better. "I'm not down on that group because they want to get it right," he said. "It's a matter of going out there and putting the work in. There's nothing magical about it. We've shown that we can do it. There are times we get it done, times we don't." NOTES: Rookie LB Chris Kirksey is appealing his $8,268 fine for hitting Titans quarterback Jake Locker. Kirksey struck Locker in the head after the QB crossed the goal line. Kirksey says he respects Locker, who thought it was a dirty play. "Hopefully he shook it off," Kirksey said. "It's football. Things happen like that. I just feel that I know and my teammates know the type of player I am, the type of person I am." ... QB Brian Hoyer was excited to learn his jersey is on display in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in recognition of last week's comeback in Tennessee. "To have something that I wore on display there is pretty cool, but with my luck, that record will get broken this week," the Cleveland native said, smiling.
Actually thats not true at all stopper. Tennessee was no where near a "prevent" defense on that final first half drive. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth...How have you not been called out on this? Just so you know coach, in a prevent defense they generally rush no more than 3, and drop everybody else deep. The idea is to "prevent" the big play, thus the name...In this particular circumstance, Tennessee was rushing 4 or 5 with regularity, and they had seven players within 3 yards of the line of scrimmage on almost every snap...NOT a prevent in ANY way shape or form....In fact, I counted at least 4 blitzes in those nine plays. lol! What kind of prevent has ANY blitzes? 1st play: Tennesse blitz...Hoyer burns it with a beautiful out pass to Benjamin for a first down 2nd play: Titans jam the line and hold Crowell to a 2 yard gain on a sweep right 3rd play: Aggressive Tenn D burned on nice screen pass to Agnew 2 minute warning 4th play: Again Tennessee blitz... burned by perfect back shoulder pass from Hoyer to Austin. 5th play: Tennessee has 9 guys up near the line of scrimmage and still cant stop Tate from gaining 7 6th play: Tenn all out run blitz middle still doesn't stop Tate on a draw for about 6 7th play: Another Tate draw in the face of Tennessee aggressive D nets 15...1st and goal Browns at the 1 8th play: Run fail 9th play: 1 yard TD pass to Dray off nice play action... Feel free to check out the film to see how wrong you were... Hopefully I wasn't too harsh with that...It certainly wasn't my intention to offend.
U culdnt have said it any better....out pass 2 Benjamin cause the DB was very loose bout 20 yds, the pass 2 Agnew was a screen(wow thats hilarious)....Tate was running the ball vs a wide open box as they went nickel and #21 was playing LB(George Wilson all 6'0 210 lbs)...notice who was blocking him on the play...#55 Mack...show me the film please
BEREA (92.3 The Fan) ? The Cleveland Browns defensive meeting room is not a happy place to be these days. Nor should it be. The Browns are giving up an average of 26.3 points and 421.8 yards per game this season. Those numbers rank them 26th and 31st respectfully. The lack of consistency and production defensively has drawn sharp criticism from media and fans considering head coach Mike Pettine?s coaching pedigree. ?I think they?re getting a little pissed off,? Pettine said Wednesday afternoon. ?I think they?re tired of hearing it, but they know it?s on them. They?ve got to go out and play. They know as a unit that they?re better than where we are statistically and better than what we?ve put on tape.? Cleveland is tied for 29th allowing 152.5 yards rushing per game and 28th by allowing 269.3 yards passing per game. ?It?s a prideful group,? Pettine said. ?I?ve said that ? prideful, competitive. It?s not a happy group. That?ll show up on the practice field. It already did in the meetings and in the walkthrough. I?ll be surprised if we don?t make strides in the right direction.? In 2 of their four games the defense has dug the team massive holes ? a 27-3 halftime deficit week 1 at Pittsburgh and they trailed 28-3 late in the second quarter last week at Tennessee. ?We know we?re close,? Pettine said. ?If we can increase our level of consistency, we can very quickly get to where we want to be. ?That just doesn?t happen, and we?ve got to find the answers and we?ve got to get it corrected.? The Browns have been outscored 55-16 in the second quarter this season, which is the only quarter in which they are on the short end. The first quarter is even at 20 points apiece and they have outscored the opposition 38-14 in the third and 29-16 in the fourth. ?We need to be much more introspective defensively,? Pettine said. ?Just line up, do my job and trust that the guys around me are going to go theirs.? The Browns have allowed 12 touchdown drives this season ? 9 of them have gone for 75 or more yards. But it?s the big plays that are killing them. In 4 games, Cleveland has allowed 34 plays of 15 or more yards, 25 of them have gone for 20 or more yards and 11 for 30 or more yards. ?When we?re playing well for nine plays, and then the 10th one we give up a huge chunk, that?s a problem,? Pettine said.
