Obviously, I don't have the knowledge to do this thread. Can someone step up and do it for everyone, please?
Announcers will suck off Rodgers. There will be a double doink mention at least once. Rodgers will play well because it’s the Bears. Refs will make some calls that go the Packers way even when they shouldn’t. Bears probably lose.
At this point you will only watch for 1 of 2 (or both) of the following reasons: If you like gay porn: Collinsworth will fellate Erin. Tirico will fellate him afterwards for some sloppy seconds. All the halftime commentators joining for a full on fellatio orgy. You're a sick fuck who can't help him/herself and ends up watching the Bears get humiliated in prime time because you have nothing better to do. I fall into group #2, most everyone north of the Illinois border fall into group #1. My main hope for the game is Fields makes it out healthy. That's it. That's the hope
Justin is going to HAMMER DOWN the field, GB defenders flying left and right into the turf while every pass is caught and turned into points on the board for DaBears! And then every disbeliever here will fall to his knees and beg me ... BEG me to be able to write the Games Key Thread!!!
Tuna's Keys to the game 1. Buy alcohol 2. Buy even more alcohol because you know how these fucking games go. 3. Apply alcohol liberally to the mouth and swallow. 3. Start drinking on Friday so you may be either numb or unconscious by Sunday night. 5. Have a liquor store on speed dial that delivers. 6. If you are foolishly stupid enough and happen to run out of alcohol (see #4) 7. If you notice any misnumbered or missing numbered keys you aren't even close to being drunk enough yet, Keep fucking drinking!
How many fucking threads do we need pinned? Holy hell, heh. For #1 don't forget the Tuesday afternoon suck off that is the Pat McAfee show. I am also in camp 2, though I'm not as down on it this year as in years past. Almost everyone universally has this as a loss, as they should, but I have this tiny flicker of hope which is frankly pissing me off. Because I know how that fucking guy plays against us, how the Packers show up EVERY. FUCKING. TIME, and they bounced back after the trouncing in the first game last year. I have that flicker for a few reasons: 1. The Packers did downgrade in WR pretty significantly, and there's a good chance their o line will be at half strength. 2. They did just lay an egg, maybe they won't bounce back (damn unlikely) 3. Maybe the Bears can surprise them. Honestly, I figure they will lose, but I'm watching for a few things. 1. The teams identity continues to solidify, The motivation, hustle, etc, show up in giving some 50/50 balls OUR way. 2. They punch the Packers in the mouth physically. If they win, it should come at a cost. Enough of being a doormat. 3. Fields to continue slugging and not get the Mitch, "where the hell am I" deer-in-headlights look on his face. Basically I'm watching for the fight, and hoping for a close game. What I don't want to see is yet another fucking blowout. Maybe there's a Shea McClellin on the roster that can take Rodgers out.
Also my meatball take: blitz constantly. 100% Erin is going to beat us either way. May as well get as many possible opportunities to smash him.
My job keeps growing and growing. The weight of the memos on my desk is enough to bow the legs. I cleaned up the pins
