Dumbass Of The Day

I think the real fail has to be his comb-over.

 

Man killed for making pass at imaginary girlfriend

A mentally ill man in Florida who died after a gunfight with cops had just gunned down his mother’s friend for making a move on his imaginary girlfriend, authorities said.

Brian DiSario, a 30-year-old man with a history of mental illness, fatally shot David Armstrong, 56, after accusing him of making a romantic pass at his nonexistent lover as they were inside a garage in Port Richey on Thursday, the Tampa Bay Times reports. The suspect’s mother and her boyfriend were also in the room at the time of the shooting.

“Please note: Brian does not have a girlfriend,” Pasco Sheriff Chris Nocco told reporters during a press conference Thursday. “In his mind, he did, but in reality, he didn’t.”

Nocco said DiSario accused Armstrong of “messing with” his girlfriend before pulling out a gun and shooting him. DiSario then went into the home to get another gun and shot Armstrong again, killing him, Nocco said.

DiSario’s mother and her boyfriend fled to a neighbor’s house and DiSario headed to Gulf Island Drive, where cops found him standing in the middle of the street.

An “absolute gun battle in the middle of the street” erupted between cops and the suspect before he managed to run back home — where he was known to have a gun collection and a stockpile of ammunition.

A sheriff’s office robot later found DiSario’s body, WTSP reports. It was not clear if he killed himself or died of shots fired by police, none of whom were injured during the gunfight.

Armstrong’s body was found inside the garage.

Deputies are now working with federal authorities to find out whether DiSario was a legal gun owner, the Tampa Bay Times reports.

 

The dumbass in this story is any legislator in Florida who voted for or championed gun ownership for the mentally ill.

 

Well, what are you supposed to do when someone hits on your imaginary girlfriend? Did I mention that she was a model?



(sarcasm off)

 

I believe it was Congress that just this year retired that law. Or the Head Cheeto with an Executive Order.

 

How'd you get that video of my imaginary wife and me? And are you hitting on her?

(cocks pistol)

 

BATON ROUGE, LA (WAFB) -

Two fast food restaurant workers robbed at gunpoint by a man wearing a ski mask identified the suspect as a former co-worker, according to reports.

The East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office reported Cleveland Willis, 28, has been arrested in connection with the October 3 armed robbery at the KFC on Perkins Road in Baton Rouge.

According to the arrest warrant, the victims told investigators that although the suspect was wearing a ski mask, they could tell it was Willis because they had worked with him for several months.

The warrant stated the suspect walked into the business wearing all black and a black ski mask over his face. He reportedly pointed the gun at the head of one of the workers, pulled back the hammer, and demanded money.

Authorities said both workers opened two cash registers and handed over a total of a little more than $600.

"Cleveland, is that you?" the report said one of the victims asked the suspect during the robbery. "No, it’s not me," the suspect reportedly replied.

The report stated the suspect drove off in a silver Nissan Altima, which is the same vehicle Willis had been using while working there.

According to the warrant, the victims reported they recognized the robber as Willis because of his voice and “the features of his face that were visible through the holes in the mask.”

Willis has been booked into the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison on a charge of armed robbery. Bond has not been set.

 

Stop knocking nobody's home.

 

Not trying to be a dick or anything, but I noticed the man's name is Cleveland Willis.

 

No need to "try", you ARE a dick.

 

I was gonna say the no need to try thing but it would have sounded like another jab to the Browns if read that way. So I didn't.

 

Just plain eeewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!



An Oklahoma man is greasing the wheels of justice with lots of Vaseline.

When John Wayne Kellerman was pulled over on Oct. 15, he could have easily given officers the slip. That’s because the 54-year-old was mostly covered in Vaseline on his hands, and his upper and lower body parts, according to The Smoking Gun.

Deputy Darryl Beebe of the Garfield County Sheriff’s Department made the discovery after he pulled over Kellerman for doing 57 in a 45 mph zone.

When Beebe walked up to the car, he said Kellerman was nearly naked, except for a bikini thong. He also noticed a pornographic magazine was on the passenger seat, according to the Enid News and Eagle newspaper. A nearly empty jar of Vaseline was located next to the man in the vehicle, Beebe noted.

A sergeant arrived at the scene of the traffic stop to do a vehicle inventory, according to the Enid News and Eagle. The officer noted that the driver’s side of the car was “extremely greasy.”

According to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Kellerman seemed extremely nervous and his hands were shaking. He handed Beebe an ID card and offered the officer a rag to wipe off the Vaseline.

The officer refused the offer.

During questioning, Kellerman allegedly admitted masturbating behind the wheel before Beebe pulled him over.

Beebe checked Kellerman’s license and discovered he was driving on a revoked license. In fact, the license hadn’t been valid since 1985.

Kellerman has spent most of the past 27 years in state prison on a variety of charges, including domestic assault, car theft, burglary and narcotics possession.

Kellerman was arraigned Thursday for speeding and driving with a revoked license. He was later freed on $1,000 bond.

 

Are you sure it wasn't Rob Ryan?

 

I thought he just had a foot fetish......

 

Almost a splitting image of him.

 

Add these two together and you get................."SHUDDER"!!!!!!!!!!

 

FWIW, Rex has the foot fetish...Rob is just a terrible defensive coordinator with a weight problem.

 

Found some news headlines: