Dumbass Of The Day

No, a more sober man would have thrown his brothers carcass in his own truck, driven them home and told the passed out man the next day to figure out how to get his own truck back.

 

That's a bit more sober than I'm giving the guy credit for.

 

Texas man trapped inside ATM rescued after passing notes through receipt slot

A Texas man who became trapped inside an ATM slipped notes to customers via the receipt slot pleading for them to help him escape, police said on Thursday.

The Corpus Christi police lieutenant Chris Hooper said the contractor became stuck on Wednesday when he was changing the lock to a Bank of America room that leads to the ATM.

“Apparently he left his cellphone and the swipe card he needed to get out of the room outside in his truck,” Hooper said.

The contractor then passed notes through the ATM receipt slot to customers retrieving cash, imploring them to call his boss. One read: “Please help. I’m stuck in here.”

Some customers appeared to dismiss the notes as a prank, Hooper said. But one called police, who detected a faint voice coming from inside the ATM. An officer kicked in the door to the room and freed the man, whose name was not released.

“Everyone is OK but you will never see this in your life, that somebody was stuck in the ATM,” Richard Olden, a police senior officer, told KRIS-TV. “It was just crazy.”

 

I saw this the other day. It's funny that no one believed him for a while. Good thing it wasn't Montreal or everyone would think it was Just For Laughs Gags. He'd still be there.

 

Just For Laughs? Is that kind of like our Candid Camera back in the 70's?

 

Pretty much but much more risque. And Just for Laughs is the largest comedy festival in the world. Gags is their secondary prank show.

 

"It's just a prank, bro!"

 

Here is a fresh one.

A dozen Alabama inmates cooked up a plot to hoodwink a new employee at the Walker County Jail, using peanut butter to trick the staffer into opening an alternate door over the weekend, Walker County Sheriff James Underwood said at a news conference Monday afternoon.

Underwood said a recent hire at the jail was in the control room keeping count of inmates when they asked to have a door opened. But the inmates had used peanut butter from jailhouse sandwiches to trick the staffer.

“They had changed the number over the door with peanut butter, they hollered, 'hey, open the door...,' but that door number was the outside door, and unbeknowingly to him, he hit that lock and out the door they went,” Underwood said.

Of the 12 escapees, 11 have since been caught, including the two most serious offenders, the sheriff said.

Underwood added that inmates at Walker County Jail will continue to be served peanut butter.

 

Maybe if they didn't have numbers on doors that were the color of peanut butter. Maybe should have used fluorescent orange or yellow or green. Or better yet, have a second door in order to get outside.

 

A woman in Kansas tried to kill a bug by lighting it on fire -- and ended up setting her apartment on fire and causing hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage.

The fire destroyed a separate building, displaced 17 people and caused $140,000 in damages.

The woman told police that her daughter told her that there was a bug inside their third floor apartment on Monday.

She said that she picked the bug up and lit it on fire. Then she picked up her mattress to check and see if there were more bugs, and when she tried to light that another bug on fire, her lighter 'started sparking' and the box spring went up in flames.

They tried to put it out themselves, using water from the kitchen, but when that didn’t work they called 911. It took over 30 firefighters to put out the blaze.

It's unclear why the woman didn't kill the bug with a shoe, and why she chose to try and light it on fire.

 

Something old, something new, something borrowed and something nearly blew his head off..........




Talk about a shotgun wedding.

Shortly after saying “I do,” a Tennessee bride was arrested for pulling a firearm out from beneath her wedding dress and pulling the trigger on her new hubby.

Police said Kate Elizabeth Prichard, 25, and her groom had started fighting only hours after their nuptials in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, according to news station WTVF.

The couple was drinking outside a local motel called the Clarion Inn when they began to fight, authorities said.

“She pulled out of her wedding dress a 9 mm pistol. Pointed it at her new husband’s head and pulled the trigger,” Murfreesboro Police Sgt. Kyle Evans told WTVF.

The gun, however, was not loaded, forcing the pistol-packing bride to load a round before reportedly firing a shot into the air.

“Responding officers let the husband know the honeymoon was over and his new wife was going to jail,” Evans said.

Authorities took Prichard, who was still in her gown, into custody and charged her with aggravated domestic assault. She was released from Rutherford County jail on $15,000 bond.

 

I think this report is enough evidence for an annulment. Come on hubby even God won't argue.

 

I hope she had her conceal carry permit with her. Or does Tennessee even require one ???

 

Well, but....

Nope, no excuses for that one..

 

Texas man shoots armadillo, gets hit in face by bullet ricochet

DALLAS (Reuters) - An East Texas man was wounded after he fired a gun at an armadillo in his yard and the bullet ricocheted back to hit him in his face, the county sheriff said on Friday.

Cass County Sheriff Larry Rowe said the man, who was not identified, went outside his home in Marietta, southwest of Texarkana, at around 3 a.m. on Thursday morning. He spotted the armadillo on his property and opened fire.

"His wife was in the house. He went outside and took his .38 revolver and shot three times at the armadillo," Rowe said.

The animal's hard shell deflected at least one of three bullets, which then struck the man's jaw, he said.

The man was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where his jaw was wired shut, according to Rowe.

The status of the animal is unknown.

"We didn't find the armadillo," the sheriff said.

 

"The status of the animal is unknown."
"We didn't find the armadillo," the sheriff said.



Can't believe they included this in the article.

 

Maybe he was shooting a rock and didn't want to make it sound as dumb.

 

Well, it was around 3 A.M. I think the late hour screams of too much alcohol which pretty much lends itself to the dumb/drunken decisions aspect of this.

 

Today's award goes to the guy who came up with this headline......