Drunken Stoned Stories of Hilarity

Discussion in 'Chicago Bears' started by babyfan, Mar 29, 2019.

  1. babyfan Legend Patreon Platinum Bears Babyfan's P.C. Yoga

    I just heard a really funny story from tuna (one of the many he has) when he was high so I thought I would create this thread to encourage all of you to post something that you've done under the influence.

    Once upon a time when I was high AF or drunk AF, I ....
     
  2. tunafat Franchise Player Bears

    ..was with my buddy Norbert driving around aimlessly smoking some really really good bud and I was riding shotgun. I noticed we were down to our last couple doobies and said pull into the 7 Eleven so I can get some rolling papers. So he pulls in and I go into the store and ask the clerk if he sold rolling papers he said "No we don't sell rolling papers". I get back into the car and we continue to drive around smoking and joking and about a half hour later I tell my buddy "Hey there's another 7 Eleven pull in and I'll get some papers". So I go into the store and ask the clerk if carried rolling papers, and he says "Dude I told you once we don't carry rolling papers".
     
  3. babyfan Legend Patreon Platinum Bears Babyfan's P.C. Yoga

    Found myself riding in the back of a van crossing the border between Canadexico and the Great and Wonderful Oz err ... I mean the States. I didn't actually know where I was (due to being forced to do Tequila shots by all of the 6 very tall guys who were in the van) but when the border guard entered the vehicle I was on my knees on top of a box of some kinda beer (some say Corona, some say Coors) pretty drunk, my mouth open and a little wobbly.

    For some reason I ended up getting suspended from crossing the border for a year based on whatever that guard dude thought he saw.

    The End.
     
  4. babyfan Legend Patreon Platinum Bears Babyfan's P.C. Yoga

    LOVE your story tuna. It totally works even hearing/reading it twice. LOL
     
    tunafat likes this.
  5. tunafat Franchise Player Bears

    It was Corona in case you still aren't sure and it certainly looks like you aren't quite sure now just as you were back then. Come on stick with the story.
     
    gidion72 likes this.
  6. babyfan Legend Patreon Platinum Bears Babyfan's P.C. Yoga

    Even thinking about that trip makes me want to blackout...
     
    tunafat likes this.
  7. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

    Hmmmm.....where do I even start?

    There's the time I smoked peyote in Vegas and woke up in the desert naked with a woman I had never seen before in my life.

    She said I picked her up outside the Flamingo hotel and that we had a night on the town. I told her my name was Frederick Covington III and that I was the heir to a massive diamond corporation based out of South Africa. We rode out to the desert and spent the night in a sweat lodge. I have no knowledge of most of the night except for the stuff she told me.
     
  8. babyfan Legend Patreon Platinum Bears Babyfan's P.C. Yoga

    LOL ... is that your real name then? It should be.
     
  9. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

    I've used it every once in a while since that time.

    Back when I used to go to conferences out of state....I had a habit of making up false names. Richard Stroker was one of my favorites....I told every I met they could just say me Dick.
     
    babyfan likes this.
  10. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

    Could be worse....some people are actually given names like this at birth...

    [​IMG]
     
  11. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

  12. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

  13. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

  14. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

  15. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

  16. babyfan Legend Patreon Platinum Bears Babyfan's P.C. Yoga

    Oh God.
     
  17. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

    Best part is that Dick Seeman is part of the class of 69.
     
    IrishDawg42 likes this.
  18. babyfan Legend Patreon Platinum Bears Babyfan's P.C. Yoga

    LOL I didn't see the year. That's funny.

    Tell another story.
     
  19. BearsWillWin Drunk (Probably) Patreon Champion Manager Bears Blackhawks Cubs

    Well....let's see...

    There's my first wedding.....my father in law was a very short man....like 5'1ish or so. I am somewhere between 6'4 and 6'5. He hated me and hated his daughter was marrying me and was afraid to show it.

    At the wedding reception....that he reluctantly paid for....we were taking pictures and stuff and I was obviously drunk out my damn mind at this point...someone said it was time for the Father/Daughter dance. So I said "not before Daddy dances with me" and I grabbed him and spun him around a few times and tried to dance with him. He initially went along with the joke but got irritated really fast. So then I picked him up and held him like a baby and danced a little more. And then pretended to rock him to sleep and sat him down in his chair.

    Everyone in the room laughed....except for new wife and him of course.
     
  20. babyfan Legend Patreon Platinum Bears Babyfan's P.C. Yoga

    Jesus.
    That's crazy! No wonder you Americans shoot at each other so often!

    LOL
     
    Vancouver Volcanos likes this.

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