Dumbass Of The Day

Speak for yourself!

 

About an hour before the accident, the Jets had their own tragedy, losing 41-10 to the Buffalo Bills.

I like that a lot. The Buffalo Bills have been bringing families together in WNY for years because they have made fans want to forget them.
Now they're giving drunks in another state an excuse for their wayward habits.

 

Cops find meth after Louisiana man calls to report ax attack; man blames ghost

MONROE, La. (AP) — Deputies say a Louisiana man who called 911 to report an ax attack was found uninjured and in possession of meth he says was planted by a ghost.

News outlets report Michael L. Auttenberry is charged with giving a false police report and possession of a controlled dangerous substance. Ouachita Parish Sheriff's deputies say Auttenberry called authorities this month to report that he had been hit in the head with an ax.

Responding deputies found an uninjured Auttenberry cursing at people "obviously not there." Auttenberry then said intruders were inside his home, prompting deputies to search the place and find a bag of meth.

They also found meth on Auttenberry, who told them the drug was planted by a ghost or intruder. It's unclear if Auttenberry has a lawyer.

 

He pulled the trick off nicely, the "assistant" was the Dumb Ass here!!

 

Looks like his "assistant" took a blow to the nards, dropped like a rock and then was crushed by an entire wall worth of shelving...

 

I think that old school tube TV just went over his head. Good thing the back of the shelving gave.

 

Hope you all don't wind up like these folks for the holiday......

 

I am curious how those charcoal fires got out of hand!

 

Don't fu€£ with Cool Cat!

 

The oil overflowed

 

Well, they ALL overflowed, but I've just never had that big of a flame up. The oil had to have been filled to the top.

 

They all were overfilled. Every one of them starts coming out as soon as the turkey hits the top of the pot.

 

Ah, yes.......Florida just never stops giving to this thread, do they?

Cops: Woman Battered Man Over Rejection
Second time Floridian, 31, busted after sex advances were spurned




NOVEMBER 26--A Florida Woman battered her boyfriend after he “said no and went back to bed” after she “grabbed his genitals wanting to have sex” on Thanksgiving night, cops say.

Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31, was arrested for domestic battery following a confrontation in the Tampa-area home she shares with the victim and the couple’s child.

Phelps’s arrest was the second time in 14 months that she was busted for allegedly battering a man who did not want to have sex with her, records show.

Investigators allege that the victim was sleeping late Thursday night when Phelps entered their bedroom seeking to have sex. After Phelps groped her partner’s private parts, the “victim said no and went back to sleep,” according to a criminal complaint.

Phelps subsequently returned to the bedroom and started “tapping” the man’s leg. “The victim pretended to be asleep to ignore the defendant who is intoxicated,” cops noted.

Phelps then allegedly “scratched the victim on his left eye causing it to swell and turn black and blue.” Phelps, who told cops she did not touch the victim, was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge. She was released yesterday morning from the county jail after posting $100 bond.

A judge has ordered Phelps to have no contact with the victim.

In September 2017, Phelps was arrested after allegedly getting mad at a man “because he did not want to have sexual relations with her.” Phelps screamed at the victim and smacked him “so hard on the right side of his face it left redness on his face.” She also allegedly scratched the man’s arm, causing it to bleed.

Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the case against Phelps. It is unclear whether the victim in the 2017 matter is the same man in the current case.

 

I feel like 90+ percent of this thread is from Florida.

 

Remember bath salts? Florida.

 

Hooray for F-L-A yet again..........(the baked potato incident at the end is even funnier than the main item in the story)

Florida Woman 'Farted Loudly,' Threatened to 'Gut' Man Who Complained About It, Police Say

A Florida woman who “farted loudly” in a Dollar General store in Dania Beach was arrested Sunday after threatening to “gut” a man who complained, cops say.

The Miami Herald reported his week that Shanetta Yvette Wilson, aged 37, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill after the incident. Her arrest was confirmed using inmate information posted by the Broward County Sheriff's Office.

The newspaper, which obtained a copy of the complaint affidavit, reported that the altercation started after a customer in the shop standing next to the woman—named as John Walker, age unknown—got into an argument that was “in reference to the defendant farting loudly.”

Wilson, the complaint alleged, pulled out a “lock back knife” from her purse, opened it and told Walker that she was going to “gut” him. The woman then motioned with the knife “as if she was going to attack the victim with it,’ the Miami Herald reported, citing police records.

The affidavit said Wilson had been “in fear that he was going to be stabbed by the defendant.” The suspect was located by local law enforcement and detained. According to the inmate information online, she was taken to Paul Rein Detention Facility on $2,500 bond.

It’s not the first time someone has gotten in trouble for passing gas in the state.

Earlier this year, a Florida security guard was fired from his job at the Heart of Florida Regional Medical Center after posting videos online of him farting while on-the-job. The man, using the name Paul Flart online, recorded his own sacking in a YouTube video posted in August.

A man informed Flart he was being let go for recording himself farting “75 times” while in uniform. Flart wrote on Twitter: “Flatulence are a normal bodily function. God blessed me with lactose intolerance and I was just trying to bless everyone with my sphincter symphony!”

He later told the Miami Herald: “My family is upset about me losing my job, but know I will crush at anything I put my mind to. There’s a whole new opportunity out there for me now.”

Also in Florida this week, two men were arrested on suspicion of murdering their former roommate over a missing PlayStation 4. In Yulee, a man was accused of repeatedly stabbing a woman in the head with a fork over an undercooked baked potato. Meanwhile, a Largo man was charged with first degree murder in connection with the death of a 7-week-old baby.

 

some will call me incentive for this one but truth is truth

If you dont want your child's name to be mocked dont make it something you know will be mocked

 

I'm with you on weird names. Alternate spellings can be bizarre too. Heck, they've got laws against it in places like Sweden.