Dumbass Of The Day

I just beat down an eight point human Bambi.

 

My cousin (18) and I (17) moved Papeari to farm with my uncle in Tahiti-iti. He dated a girl from the museum, I was more subtle and dated a girl with a bazillion brothers. My other cousin is president of Hinano Brewery.

 

Do you like Tahitian Treat?

 

No, that is awful stuff.

 

I had it a few times from 7-11 in elementary school. Usually because my friends used to always get it. It was much better when you were a kid and sugar trumped actual flavour.

 

Hence the invention of the Pixie stick. Nothing more than a paper straw full of slightly flavored sugar powder. Just what every growing boy and girl needs.

 

Is that supposed to stop at some point?

Asking for a friend...

 

https://dailyjournalonline.com/news...45cfbc8.html#tracking-source=home-top-story-1



An area man was arrested after authorities say they found him wandering the streets naked, incoherent and hallucinating after crashing a vehicle.

David Stelmach, 27, of Potosi, is now charged with a class E felony of knowingly burning, a class E felony of driving while license was revoked, and a class B misdemeanor of driving while intoxicated.

According to a probable cause statement, at 1:30 p.m. July 1, a trooper with the Missouri State Highway Patrol was called for a single-vehicle crash near 12144 Grassy Hollow Rd. in Washington County. It was reported that a vehicle was on fire and a naked male driver appeared to be under the influence of drugs.

The trooper reported that a Washington County deputy found a naked man, later identified as Stelmach, walking away from the crash on Grassy Hollow Road and the deputy took him into custody and drove him back to the crash.

When the trooper arrived at the crash, he saw that a Chevrolet passenger car had crashed into a tree. The deputy directed him to Stelmach, who was being checked by EMS in the back of the ambulance. The deputy told the trooper he found Stelmach one-tenth of a mile north of the crash.

The deputy also told the trooper that when he asked Stelmach if he had taken any drugs he said, “Yeah, all kinds. Anything I could get my hands on.” The trooper went to the back of the ambulance and noticed Stelmach was very talkative and appeared to be disoriented.

The trooper reported that Stelmach said, “I’m sorry about this dude. It’s F***ing chiggers … and Wicca. Wiccans.” The trooper asked him what Wiccans were and Stelmach said, “Wiccans. Witches and Magnus and warlocks.” According to the trooper, Stelmach was incoherent and had bloodshot, glassy eyes and his eyelids were drooping.

Stelmach told the trooper he drank "the Kool-Aid." When asked about the crash he said “Dude, it was like … I was there and then I wasn’t. And then I’m in the f***ing woods … and I got burrs on my feet, and f***ing chiggers and flies everywhere.”

The trooper asked Stelmach if there was anyone else with him and he said there wasn’t. When asked if Stelmach was driving the car when it crashed he said, “No, I was walking in the woods, dude.” The trooper noted that Stelmach appeared to be very confused, talkative and repetitive.

The trooper asked about the crash again and Stelmach said, “I crashed … like, I was out in the woods and I f***ing fell asleep. I guarantee you it was at least f***ing night time when I did it though.” The trooper noticed Stelmach was quick to reply to his questions, but gave incoherent answers.

Stelmach was very restless and continued to speak freely. The trooper reported he saw tiny pieces of glass shards scattered throughout Stelmach’s chest. When asked if he took drugs, Stelmach replied asking "what is considered a drug?"

The trooper explained how drugs could alter his mind and Stelmach said, “S*** man, you can alter your mind with reality.” He also said he had no idea where he was or how he got there. The trooper explained he was on Grassy Hollow Road and Stelmach said, “That sounds … sounds magical, dude.”

The trooper reported that Stelmach continued to provide irrational answers to most of his questions regarding the crash and being under the influence of drugs. Stelmach refused medical treatment.

Stelmach repeatedly asked if he was being detained and the trooper told him he was detained for the crash investigation. Stelmach became very argumentative and agitated. The trooper told Stelmach that someone witnessed him walking naked near the crash scene.

The trooper also pointed out the broken glass chards on his chest and Stelmach said, “I have no idea, is that glass? How do you know it’s not f***ing crystals? The trooper then placed him under arrest for suspicion of driving while intoxicated.

The trooper determined Stelmach was driving south on Grassy Hollow Road in a 2001 Chevrolet Cavalier and was driving too fast for the gravel road surface. The Cavalier began to slide as he negotiated a curve to the right.

Stelmach over-corrected twice, causing the vehicle to slide off the left side of the road, strike a tree, and turn counter-clockwise before coming to rest on the east side of the road facing north. The trooper discovered the registration had been removed from the vehicle and torn in half and he was unable to identify the vehicle by its VIN number due to the damage from the fire.

The trooper spoke with a firefighter with the Potosi Fire Department who said the fire started toward the rear of the vehicle. The firefighter also said he saw a small plastic gas can, which was partially melted, behind a large tree near the Cavalier.

The trooper noted that based on his experience, collisions which have caused a vehicle to catch fire are typically the result of a heavy front-end impact, resulting in extensive damage to the engine compartment. The trooper noted the Cavalier had no front-end damage, other than fire damage. It appeared Stelmach may have set the car on fire after crashing it.

Stelmach was taken to the Washington County Jail to be booked at the time. He was later released and is now wanted on a warrant with a $15,000 bond.

 

Sorry, it's a bit long but the guy's replies to the cop are hilarious.

 

Lol, at least to an extent.

 

I wonder if it actually was crystals...

 

Man With No Pants Falls Through Alabama Waffle House Ceiling, Fights Patrons Before Escaping

Customers of a Waffle House in Tuscumbia, Alabama, were left panicked on Sunday after a man in his underwear fell through the ceiling, following a failed robbery attempt.

The Times Daily newspaper reported today that police officers identified the suspect as 27-year-old Wesley Glenn Bost of Birmingham. After fleeing the scene on foot, Bost is now wanted on first degree criminal mischief and burglary charges, according to Detective Sergeant Wes Holland.

Tuscumbia police chief Tony Logan said Bost had been trying to break into the restaurant's office above the dining space, by going via the ceiling of a bathroom. After climbing up, however, he tumbled through the floor and into the dining area below. The fall was captured on video.

According to WAAY-TV, he had removed his blue jeans and tied them to the bathroom door to ensure he wasn’t disturbed. Officials said the incident had damaged the sink and toilet. Police chief Logan, Times Daily reported, said it is believed Bost was on drugs at the time.

In a clip of the incident, viewed hundreds of thousands of times (explicit language), the dazed man is seen tumbling onto a table after falling through the Waffle House’s ceiling. One person is heard shouting “hey—don’t go nowhere” as the man tries to aggressively push his way out of the building. “Get off me” he is heard shouting, before picking a chair up off the ground.

As customers film the chaos and shouting workers attempt to keep the man inside the store, he falls to the ground briefly before standing and forcing his way out the front door.

Police said that after exiting the restaurant he got into a car with another suspect. They later left the vehicle and fled on foot. The second man is yet to be identified. The search for Bost and the second man remain ongoing—but Holland said he is confident they will be found.

“We have his car and we have his driver’s license and identification, which he left in his pants inside the Waffle House,” he said, according to Daily Times. Logan said information would be shared with other departments and agencies. Meanwhile, a representative for Waffle House, named as Pat Warner, told Fox News: “We’re glad everybody’s OK—nobody was injured.”

 

So....Duff....what's going on in your life buddy? You've been posting a lot of naked men stories lately...

j/k

What an idiot, there are a lot of stupid people out there.

 

@IrishDawg42

Send nudes.............(LOL)

 

lol..... "clipped"

 

Wow. That guy is probably dead

 

He didn’t even have time to shit his pants first.

 

Not wanting to bash on the Jets. Hell, I'm surprised Browns fans haven't been using this excuse for nearly 2 decades..........


New Jersey Man Blames DWI On The New York Jets

A New Jersey man accused of DWI tried to put the blame on the real culprit: the New York Jets.

Christopher Greyshock, 57, of West Milford, was charged Sunday afternoon after he rear-ended another vehicle, injuring at least one woman in the process, according to NBC New York.

Officers from the Wayne Police Department said Greyshock was “staggering and swaying, unable to walk straight in danger of falling onto the highway.”

They also noticed a “heavy odor” of alcohol on his breath and “stains of liquid” on his clothes.

Greyshock allegedly admitted he rear-ended the car that was stopped in traffic in front of him.

That’s when authorities performed a field sobriety test on Greyshock.

He allegedly failed the test by registering a blood alcohol level of 0.13 percent, well above New Jersey’s legal limit of .08 percent, according to NorthJersey.com.

During the test, Greyshock allegedly told police, “I drank too much because the Jets suck!” according to The Associated Press.

About an hour before the accident, the Jets had their own tragedy, losing 41-10 to the Buffalo Bills.

Greyshock apparently went to great lengths to drown his sorrows: He allegedly had an open bottle of whiskey and suspected marijuana in his car.

He now faces charges for facing assault by auto, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, driving under the influence, reckless driving and open container of alcohol in the motor vehicle charges.