The thing that I fear is that the #MeToo movement will see its day and get swept away under the rug by the next societal or political upset. Like the #IAMCHARLIE movement which garnered so much attention and spread through social media like wild fire. It makes me wonder how long people will champion a cause?
I don't believe that's going to happen here because of how big this has blown up. False claims could devalue it in the public's eye. But this isn't just a trendy thing....it's a call to action to change culture.
That's what I'm hoping to see. Can you even imagine the energy that would be required to determine the truth behind every accusation or every testimony?
It's not humanly possible. Hopefully victims begin coming forward immediately moving forward now that the flood gates have opened.
That's what this is about. I just realized it now. It's not about what happened in the past (although that is horrible) but it's about creating a safe system for future victims to use and to feel supported through.
to me grabbing a woman's chest is worse than grabbing her ass. like I said if Swift feels traumatized by someone grabbing her ass, that's on her. Why is she on the cover ? because someone grabbed her ass and she sue or because of her fame? think about it-who better to get on a cover than Taylor Swift for this cause vs a regular person. Who will people identify with - an unknown 15 yr teen or Taylor Swift. And the words embarrassing and traumatized are far different. was Swift embarrassed by her ass being grabbed or traumatized by the event? It's not the same answer. It's far different.
I think that the system if you will is in place in general terms. The problem is that the system has not enough teeth by the people in charge of it. Cover-ups occur and the rules of behavior are not clear enough. Too often also, the innocent are punished and the guilty not punished both for the accuser and the alleged abuser. Also, workplace rules are not clearly defined. They need to be clear. I think that what used to be considered simple flirting can no longer be done in any workplace. Just do your business. Don't tell anyone how nice they look. It shouldn't matter in the workplace but it clearly does, at least in my experience, and I was a champion "flirt" It is too bad that it has come to this. I am talking about what happens in the business world, school systems, military, etc. Sexual attraction happens between people. Compliments and flirting I don't consider sexual harassment but the Hollywood scandal, I think, is a unique not real world situation. Like everything else in Hollywood, common sense, is really rare. You have a bunch of spoiled egotistical pretty people living in their own world, apart from reality. This sure should have not been a surprise to anyone. The casting couch has existed for decades. It was even joked about openly. Morality just didn't happen in Hollywood generally. Successful marriages were pretty rare. So, the shit hits the proverbial fan and suddenly everyone and their sister claims sexual abuse and now there is the pile on across the workplace everywhere.
here's my take on God. I am Catholic, went to Catholic school and was religious. I even walked to Saturday night mass bc i didn't want to go Sunday morning. It was an easy walk but my 15-17 yr olds wouldn't do it. My parents with 8 kids donated a lot to our Church on top of the 8 school tuitions they paid for and we never had money, so I never understood giving money to the church when we barely got by at times. They even donated money to have an American Flag in our church for over 30 years. It's gone now bc people complained it doesn't belong in the church. My parents names are still in the donation wing of the Church though-thanks. My Father was an old school Irish Catholic. During Christmas, he went to mass every MORNING. He went to mass every Sunday and for Easter on Good Friday and Easter Sunday morning. He actually prayed on his knees every night before bed. Hardcore Catholic. I always believed in some kind of Heaven or afterlife because I don't want my life to truly be over when I die. I want to see my loved ones again no matter how they died in life. As a kid I thought if you were in a bad car accident - how could you be in Heaven. I was dumb enough to not think of the soul taking over. I lost my Father, best friend and Mother from the ages of 15-21 and I stopped believing and caring in God. I mean, my parents donated money to our Church. They gave money to our Church and both died young. My friend was 19 and he died in an accident. I stopped going to Church. I didn't believe anymore of why take my parents who did everything they could for God and their faith. I was mad and angry at God. Fast forward to May 9th 2016. I had insomnia for 4 weeks and the only way I could sleep is to have some beer. Well my weekend intake of beer, which was high, became my nightly intake just to fall asleep. Well it worked. It also was destroying my body. I was tired everyday at work from being up late drinking. I felt like crap and my stomach wasn't right. I was getting sick all the time. And my bathroom routine was not routine anymore due to the over-drinking. at 3 am on May 9th, I was awoken at 3am in tremendous stomach pain. I thought I was giving birth, but I'm a man. My stomach hurt, my breastplate in my chest hurt, my shoulders felt like there was a 1000 pound plate on them. I thought I was having a heart attack. I called out to my parents to save me because I couldn't move. I thought I was going to die. I then realized I needed bigger help than my parents. I called out to God. It's called a "foxhole prayer" although I didn't know it at the time. I begged God to let me live and I would never drink again bc I knew that what was causing my body to attack me from within. I told him I would never drink again and I was sorry for what I did while I drank. I woke up the next day alive and with a heavy burden to not drink anymore. I got myself into a AA program and I am coming up on 22 months sober and almost 2 yrs in May. For the first 6 months of my sobriety, I couldn't figure out why my sobriety was SO EASY. Me a weekend drinker of watching sports in his recliner with a beer in his hand didn't want to drink anymore. I didn't even think about it. I didn't go to sleep with alcohol anymore. I didn't crave it. For 6 months I tried to figure out why this was so easy when many people in AA struggle to get by 1 damn day without it and many fail and relapse. I finally figured it out - it was God. God was making my sobriety so easy so I would never go back to it and never relapse. I didn't want or crave it anymore. It was over for me. Now some or all of you may think my story is hokey and eye rolling. Some may say it's all a coincidence. All I know is I drank beer for 27 yrs every weekend from 7pm ish to 1-2am ish and I stopped cold turkey! I actually tried quitting twice before for different reasons and always went back to drinking bc I wanted it so damn much. Now I don't. I don't need it anymore. Coincidence? Sorry, I don't believe that. God made me stop craving and wanting beer. I don't have any other explanation for it. I believe God is guiding me in life now as he did when I was a teen bc my faith and belief was restored. Yes, it was selfish of me to call out to him when I turned my back on him years before. I told him I was sorry for that too when I thought I was on my deathbed. Well he listened and I am alive and sober now to trust him and believe in him a lot more than I ever did before.
I don't think where you grab a woman matters....to me it's the fact that you're touching her without consent and that's wrong. Touching or rubbing her back can be just as wrong as squeezing something you know you aren't supposed to squeeze. Taylor Swift is on that cover because she basically runs a cult...like Beyonce. I'm not trying to say that negatively but it's true. If she stubbed her toe tomorrow there would be a news story about it and her fans would demand justice against whatever inanimate object was to blame. We have an issue with celebrities in this country. We obsess over them and worship them but also have a need to see them get torn down. It's scary in a way. And I think making someone like Swift a champion of this cause could hurt in the long run.
thanks - took off of work and headed to the parade on Thursday. I waited my whole life for it and I'm going !
That's a good personal story and I get it....but....I don't mean this in a bad way....why doesn't god help all the other alcoholics in the world that need help and can't do it on their own? How many people call out for gods help each day....and what percentage of them actually see an improvement in their life? I'm not trying to devalue your story...because it obviously means something to you and your life has improved and that's awesome...but to me stuff like this is just more proof we aren't being led by an unseen hand. Because it just defies common sense in every way. I think this is a discussion for another thread but it's a really good, interesting discussion.
bc many alcoholics aren't giving themselves up to God. I was on my last legs and I knew it bf that night. I knew something had to give or else I would die. So when I was in so much bodily pain, I called out to him begging to live. I said i wasn't ready to die. I didn't want to go. I said out loud I was sorry for turning against him after my Mom died. I was sorry for stopping to attend Church services. I said I was sorry for all of it. MAny alcoholics have a bottom, but they don't get down and pray for their wrongdoings. Reaching a bottom and having a foxhole prayer aren't the same thing. Alcoholics need help. I needed my life to change. I'm not saying I am better than they are, but after attending weekly AA meetings and hearing hundreds of people speak, needing help and giving yourself up to God isn't the same thing.
I get where you're coming from Cat, you make good points. I'm not sure if we should get bogged down making judgements on who feels what when they are touched non-consenually. I understand why some people would be indignant that she is making a fuss about having her butt grabbed but ... who knows what's happened to her in her life before this to cause her to feel this way? We can't dictate or control how someone reacts to sexual abuse, what might not seem very upsetting to you could mean something entirely different to another person. If she is on the cover of a magazine and she is being given the opportunity to shed even more light on this crisis, then the outcome is a positive one. #MeToo isn't just about rape. It's about being touched without permission, it's about being whistled at or having catcalls thrown your way. There's a lot more to this than 'just' rape (as if there could ever be anything just about rape).
So god loves everyone....but is only gonna help those that get down on their knees and really beg for it?
It's about taking manhood from men and ruling over them. That is what started in the 70's with women's liberation and the meme movement is the dagger in the heart. Women now have the power over men because every stand men try to take will be met by sexual abuse allegations to put men on the defensive and not able to stand because of meme.
I'll say this Cat ... this is how you came to sobriety and that is a very real thing. It's a very good thing for you because it sounds like you made a life-altering decision that day. Your trust in God (you called to him and he gave you back your life) created a safe place for you. Every person has their own belief system. I respect that. I think that if you are going to tell people that you follow Christ then you should do it. That means that you follow his teachings when life is good and when life is difficult. John 8:1-8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. Luke 6:37-42 Judging Others 37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. This is what I mean. If a person says that they believe in Christ and follow the teachings of the bible that means that they follow scripture/commandments etc. That means that they don't treat other people poorly because that's not how they are expected to act. Even if the person has treated them poorly first, "Turn the other cheek". Christians don't cast judgements on others because they are different from them. Christ created a standard of behaviour for his followers and that's what christians follow. If you don't, yet call yourself a christian, than you are a hypocrite. I don't believe in God, or any higher being. I believe in the good of mankind and I find it everywhere every day. I think that the Catholic church is a hypocrisy of the worst kind. It is hardly a standard for good triumphing over evil. With priests who are pedophiles (I knew one personally when I was an adolescent) and the constant demand for money, I lost interest in any religion when I was 11 years old. That does NOT mean that I don't respect those who have a loving relationship with God. To each their own ...
