Dumbass Of The Day

If this dude had access to a "fluffer", he probably wouldn't be sexually assaulting weight sets in the first place.

 

World's largest cock ring, might as well have taken Viagra or Cialis

 

Good point, SAS. But someone must have a number from a stall or something... right?

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on there SAS. Don't convict the man too quickly. The weight set never said "No."

 

Brings new meaning to the term "pumping iron".

 

Posted May 28, 2017 10:57 AM CDT

A Massachusetts judge has denied a man's request to juggle during his trial to show jurors he was just clowning around when he allegedly tried to rob a convenience store. "The keystone to his defense is: He's literally a clown," Orlando Melendez wrote of himself in his petition, per the Springfield Republican. "Denied," wrote a Springfield judge on Thursday in rejecting Melendez's request.

Melendez has pleaded not guilty to charges he used a toy gun to try to rob a convenience store in December, reports the AP. The 20-year-old man, who is representing himself, asked that he be allowed to juggle three wads of paper for 20 seconds to show jurors that the alleged attempted robbery was a misunderstanding. Jury selection is set to begin June 8.

 

Haven't you posted that one a few weeks ago Doug?

 

According to a report from a Czech newspaper, the Delta Airlines flight staff on that trip has accused Hudler of having a belligerent outburst on the plane in which he demanded cocaine from a flight attendant. That flight attendant assumed Hudler's request for "coke" was in reference to the soda, but he allegedly further clarified that he was in the market for the white powder.

When the flight attendant refused his request (shocker), the 33-year-old Hudler allegedly became incensed and threatened the woman, telling her that he would have his friends kill her upon arrival in Prague. On top of that, Hudler is also accused of doing cocaine in the plane's bathroom and then attempting to urinate on a food cart. (It's very confusing why he wouldn't just pee in the bathroom if he was already in there doing cocaine, but that's neither here nor there.)

A fellow passenger reported that Hudler appeared to be under the influence of alcohol during the flight, which may somewhat help explain (though certainly not excuse) his alleged behavior.


Hudler has denied the allegations, saying it was "just such a small incident." Police are currently investigating the ordeal.

The NHL vet doesn't currently have a contract after playing for the Dallas Stars last season, and this incident probably won't help him much. He has 164 goals and 264 assists in 708 career games with the Red Wings, Flames, Panthers and Stars.

Oh, and it's worth pointing out that Hudler won the NHL's Lady Byng Trophy in 2015, given to the "player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability." He accepted the award while shoeless.

 

Bet he gets less of a penalty from the NHL than Josh Gordon did from the NFL for this, if Hudler ever plays again.

He just wasn't following along with the slogan: Have a (some) Coke and a smile.

 

Nope, I looked back a few pages. Maybe you read about it somewhere else. My usual sources for this stuff have dried up lately for much of anything new. Thanks for keeping the thread going Joe.

 

Ah! It was TopDawg 2 pages back.

 

Not really a dumbass but I found it amusing. Apparently there's a DIY-"how to" for everything on the interwebs these days:



Police in Florida say a robbery suspect Googled “how to rob a bank,” then did just that.

William Johnson, 26, reportedly fled an Achieva Credit Union branch in Largo with an undisclosed amount of cash Thursday morning after suggesting to tellers that he was carrying a gun.

Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies found Johnson on Monday night at an Express Inn in Pinellas Park. He said he’d blown some of the money on a drug binge.
“Detectives interviewed Johnson and he admitted to the bank robbery,” the sheriff’s office said in a statement on its website. “Johnson informed detectives he was in need of money so he Googled ‘how to rob a bank,’” it added.

During questioning, Johnson told investigators that he’d initially planned to target a nearby Wells Fargo branch, but “changed his mind” after seeing that the teller was “a large male.”

Having used the rest of the cash to pay his rent and utilities bills, he was planning to hold up another bank on Tuesday, authorities said.

Police charged Johnson with robbery. He remained in custody at Pinellas County Jail.

 

Definitely a dumbass.

 

Here's one that's definitely a dumbass..........and yes, alcohol was involved.......


According to the Sebastian Daily, a Vero Beach man suffered second- and third-degree burns as a result of the Cowboys’ loss to the Packers on Sunday. Well, the injuries were actually a result of the man’s terrible error in judgment, but Dallas’s last-minute, 35-31 defeat was the precipitating factor.

The 27-year-old man was watching the game at home with his family, and he agreed to a wager with a woman he was with, who was rooting for Green Bay. The fan of the losing team would have to burn his or her jersey, and when Dallas fell to Aaron Rodgers and Co., the man went outside to set his Cowboys gear aflame.

That might have been the end of it, except that the man then had an idea he would soon regret: He would put on the jersey. While it was burning.

From the newspaper’s account:

A witness told Sebastian Daily, “He was set on fire after losing a bet on the Cowboys game … Skin was hanging off his arm and back.”

The man suffered third-degree burns on his right arm and right hand and second-degree burns to his back.

After family members pulled the jersey off the man, they rushed him to a hospital, where he reportedly told police that he was drunk. Here’s hoping that he recovers well and that he decides to never get drunk again, given the degree of impairment alcohol apparently inflicts on his decision-making faculties.

 

There's a lotta dicks flying around in that tweet.

 

Gives new meaning to the moniker, "City of Brotherly Love."

 

I wonder if the Landlord had to give the money back. The utility company sure as hell won't give it back.

 

They would have to prove it came from the bank robbery, I would think. You can't take the word of a drug addict

 

Again........alcohol is involved.............