Dumbass Of The Day

All kinds of stupid in this one.

Talk about a bum steer: Utah Police say a man tried to steal a car, then had to call a cab after he couldn't figured out how to use a stick shift.

Officers in Logan said they arrested Alexander Katz on Tuesday after the 19-year-old and his underage girlfriend allegedly stole a car with the keys still inside, the Deseret News reports.


Police said Katz' girlfriend knew how to drive a stick and attempted to walk him through the process.

"I'm not 100 percent certain why she doesn't just get around and get in the driver's seat so they can take the car and use it," Police Chief Gary Jensen said, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.


Eventually, the pair ditched the car at a supermarket parking lot in Providence. They fled on foot to a nearby gas station where they called a cab, HJNews.com reports.

When the duo saw police, they ran off again.


Katz's girlfriend was soon arrested. Police said she told them that she and Katz had started the evening looking for Benadryl before deciding to steal a car, according to the website.

Katz was arrested a few hours later after police found him using information he had given the taxi company, according to Newser.


Katz was arrested on suspicion of transferring a stolen vehicle, a second-degree felony, and failure to stop at the command of law enforcement, KSL.com reports. His teenage companion was released to her parents. Her case was transferred to juvenile court.

 

This 15 year old kid thought that tossing fireworks down a canyon was fun. Just found a place for a good friend to park her stuff. The Columbia Gorge is 1.5 miles wide and the fire has already jumped into Washington. I have some friends that want to put that kid on a stake along with his parents.

 

The latest gleeful Facebook post from law enforcement comes to us by way of, why yes, Florida: Specifically, the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, which titled its post, "Smile - Thanks to a Quick Thinking OCSO Deputy - You're Being Facetimed Using a Stolen Phone!" Which brings us to the case of 18-year-old Chandler Ridge Carlyle, who police say asked to borrow a man's phone while at a friend's house to "call for a ride home," but forgot that "borrowing" involves returning the thing you have borrowed. Stung by the $600 loss, the victim reported the theft to police, reports the Palm Beach Post. A deputy at first texted the stolen phone, identifying himself and demanding its return. When that didn't work, he made a FaceTime call to the phone—and snapped a picture of the man who answered. Carlyle stands charged with grand theft.

 

Police in Jacksonville, Florida, have arrested two men for allegedly trying to steal a gigantic power pole in the wake of Hurricane Irma.

Blake Lee Waller, 42, and Victor Walter Apeler, 46, each now face a charge of grand theft after they were reportedly caught strapping the $2,500-worth JEA utility pipe to an SUV on Wednesday, per The Florida Times-Union.

The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office shared this photograph of the incident on Twitter, and it’s since gone viral.



“Citizens watching out and officers cleaning up = partnership!” the sheriff’s office captioned the snap.

According to Action News Jax, Apeler initially told police he was just moving the downed pole away from traffic. A pawn shop database search revealed he had sold dozens of pieces of scrap metal since January, however.

Both men remain in custody without bond at Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office’s pretrial detention facility. Their first court appearance is scheduled for Thursday.

 

He put a flag on the pole at least. Although it should have been a red one.

 

Maybe they owned a T&A bar with a 350 pound stripper.

 

Are you sure it's a flag or his dirty tighty whities? He may be hanging up his laundry...

 

Thanks Lyman. Coffee everywhere........and co-workers staring........

 

Video can't embed so here is a quick link

 

Firefighters Spend 3 Hours Removing Weight From Gym Goer’s ‘Sensitive Part’

This mishap may give new meaning to the weightlifting clean and jerk.

A man working out in a German gym got a “very sensitive part” of his body stuck inside a 5.5-pound weight plate on Friday, according to officials.

Firefighters spent three hours using a grinder and a vibrating saw to free what was widely reported to have been the man’s penis from the center of the disc.



The Worms Fire Department shared the above photograph of the shattered weight to Facebook following the delicate extraction.

The department also urged other gym goers to “not imitate such actions.”

Authorities didn’t make clear how the man ended up with the weight wrapped around his manhood, and the incident prompted plenty of speculation on social media:

 

Wow, this could be sad or impressive depending on whether it was a standard(1" dia.) or olympic(2" dia.) size weight...

 

So he got it in there so tight he couldn't even get it limp? Damn.

 

Quick question. Who was standing on the action end of that guy when they used a "vibrating" saw to get that off?

 

I'm think the paramedic's last name was Hakemoff. I hear he does home vasectomies in his spare time with the same saw.

 

I meant it's a vibrating tool being used on something attatched to his dong. There has gotta be a risk of accidental discharge.

 

That's why the paramedics wear safety glasses........

 

And you'd think that the embarrassment of the whole situation would have had that turtle go hide back in it's shell.

 

Much like using a cock ring, the blood is trapped in there. Why not just bring in a "fluffer"? I'm sure "she" could take care of it without all the EMT fuss.